it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
