yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
