why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
