apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
