i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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