I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
