Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
