I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
