Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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