Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
