Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
