Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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