I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
