I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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