if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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