I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
