she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
