Don't you send me to vm
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
