yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
