Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
