..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
send nudes
from the living room?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
