Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
