And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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