OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize