My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
