I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
