OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize