Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Come on in and take your pants off
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