im drinking this country out of the recession.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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