So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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