New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we're making bets on your personal life
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my poor anus
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
