whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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