Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i think i just lost a toe
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
