I heard we made out
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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