she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
