So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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