You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This baby is an asshole
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You may now shotgun with the bride
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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