I don't think brook has ever known best
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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