To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
