You're a womanizer and a bitch.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
