How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
