We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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