...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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