It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
