I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
