No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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