I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
