I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
