Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
