She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
