Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
