Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
